Daf Yomi Yevamos 91
A number of
years ago in Edmonton, a certain family pulled their kids out of Menorah
Academy and placed them in public school.
They then went to the Kollel and wanted to arrange for the rabbis to
learn with their children each afternoon after school. Rabbi Hassan, the Rosh Kollel was
conflicted. On the one hand, by doing
so, he felt like he was aiding and abetting their decision to send their kids
to public school. On the other hand, the
official Kollel policy was that the rabbis were willing to learn with anyone who
so desired.
He called
up Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky, the Rosh Yeshiva in Philadelphia to seek his wise counsel.
The Mishnah states: A woman’s husband went
overseas and witnesses came and said, ‘your husband died, and so she remarried.
Afterwards, the husband appeared, and so
she must divorce both of them. She needs
a gett (bill of divorce) from both and does not receive the kesubah payment
from either. And neither’s heirs
receive the kesubah payment.
The Gemara asks: What does this last clause
about the heirs not receiving the kesubah mean?
There is no kesubah payment!
Rabbi Pappa answers: It refers to the “kesubah
payment of male sons,” which is a rabbinic enactment whereby if a woman is
widowed and then remarries, her original dowry and kesubah monies do not
automatically pass to her new husband and his family and instead remain with
the children of her first marriage.
The Gemara exclaims: That is obvious! No kesubah means no kesubah!
The Gemara answers: One would presume that while the Rabbis penalized her for her
transgression, her children should not be penalized by the Rabbis. Therefore, in this case, the Mishnah presents
this different teaching.
Rabbi Kaminetzky’s
instructions were loud and clear: You must agree to learn with these precious
children. Just because their parents
acted irresponsibly by pulling the kids out of the Jewish school, the kids
should not be penalized and denied Torah learning. At this point, the classic adage of it taking
a village to raise a child had to kick in, since the parents had failed in their
duty and responsibility.
We have had
similar discussions time and time again at the shul. Newer members of the board are always asking
why we allow the children of non-members to “take advantage” of our youth
programs.
“Our
members pay for the youth director and the programs,” they contend, “and so unless
these other people are willing to pay, they should be denied access to the
activities!”
But, as Reb
Shmuel teaches, we must never penalize any child for the irresponsible
decisions of their parents. Just because the parents don’t get it, it is
unfair to make the kids suffer. We have
an obligation to educate and care for every Jewish child. This is an important message to shuls and
schools alike. Our mission must be to
provide a Jewish education and experience for every child and hopefully the
parents will eventually do the right thing.
But no child may be turned away due to the stubbornness and folly of the
parents whose lives and homes they happened to have been born into.
The Talmud
tells us that when we read in the Shema “You shall teach them to your children,”
it refers to your students. In other
words, every child to whom you share the mitzvah of imparting Torah knowledge,
while they may not be your biological child, is considered your spiritual child. May you merit advocating for the inclusion of
many children in shul and school programs so that ultimately you will merit
being the spiritual parent to many precious kinderlach!
