Daf Yomi Kesubos 78
Maggie and Freddie’s marriage was spiralling out of
control. They were always bickering at
one another and the tension was high.
“Freddie is always bringing up our old fights,” said Maggie,
“It seems as though every time we have an argument, it’s building on our last
fight. Suddenly, he bombards me with
every disagreement we ever had.”
A woman who inherited
property prior to becoming betrothed, Beis Shamai and Beis Hillel both agree
that she may sell or gift the property and the transaction is effective. If she inherited the property after betrothal,
Beis Shamai says she may sell, but Beis Hillel says she should not sell. Nevertheless, both agree that if she did sell
or gift the property, the transaction is effective.
Rabbi Yehuda taught:
The Sages contended before Rabban Gamliel, “Once he has acquired his wife, does
he not acquire her possessions?” He
responded, “We are already embarrassed
about the new (property). Do you additionally wish to impose the old
upon us?”
Rashi explains: Why
did the Sages see fit to rule that if she sold or gifted property she inherited
after marriage, her husband has the right to annul the transaction and
repossess the property?
At the beginning of the Shema prayers we recite before
retiring to bed at night, we chant a prayer where we forgive all who may have
wronged us that day. That way, you can
go to bed without holding a grudge against anyone. It is especially important to pay particular
attention to your relationship with your spouse. Many spouses
make a point of never going to bed upset at one another – this prayer
guarantees that!
Having utterly forgiven your spouse for everything on a
daily basis means it’s impossible to ever bring up past arguments. They’re completely gone. Your spouse might have said or done things in
the past that upset you. But if you
forgave them – which you should daily – you must never ever bring it up
again. As the Sages tell Rabban
Gamliel, the new issues are embarrassing enough as it is, without having to re-impose
the old issues! You should be
embarrassed to bring up old issues – it reflects poorly on you, it means you
never really forgave your spouse and they can’t really trust you to put things
in the past behind you.
Don’t bring up old issues.
Forgive your spouse daily and bury the matter never to be heard of
again. May you merit a beautiful
relationship filled with love and caring and forgiveness!
