Daf Yomi Sotah 38
Parking at work is always such a hassle. The problem is there are three hundred
employees but only two hundred parking spots.
‘It’s no big deal,’ says your boss, ‘come early, there are loads of free
spaces!’ Wonderful advice, but it doesn’t
change the fact that eventually the spots will fill up and there won’t be enough. Truth is, it doesn’t really bother you,
because you’ve always been an early bird.
And so every day you get a spot, no problem.
One day, the company announces that it will be adding another
hundred spots directly adjacent to the building. Those spots will be reserved for the finance
department. Wonderful news, now there will
be enough space for everyone! Only
problem is you’re in HR and so you are still in the old parking lot with the
five minute walk to your office. Your
blood boils every day as you get near the building and walk past the new spots.
But why are you upset?
Your parking space hasn’t changed.
Until now, you’ve been very content each day as you’ve driven into the
parking lot and found a spot no problem.
Why suddenly the change of heart?
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi taught: We only give the blessing
cup to lead the bentching (Grace After Meals) to one who has a good eye. For
Proverbs states, “The good eye, he shall be blessed, for he has given of his
bread to the poor.” Do not read the word
‘he shall be blessed;’ rather, ‘he shall bless.’
Rashi explains: Having a good eye means spurning opulence
and providing material kindness.
What is the connection between having a good eye and leading
bentching? When one recites the bentching, he is thanking
Heaven for providing sustenance. That
action of gratitude, in turn, causes further blessing to descend. And so, in effect, the one who is leading, is
requesting material sustenance for all the participants.
One who is miserly and jealous of others’ material
prosperity will not truly want them to be blessed. And so if he were to recite the bentching, he
would not mean what he says. It is only
the person who ‘spurns opulence’ and shares his worldly possessions with others
by ‘providing material kindness’ who may be trusted with leading the bentching
and truly meaning what he says when he is requesting Heaven’s bounty.
The problem with most people is that material prosperity is
a zero-sum game. Your gain is my loss. I may have maintained the same fine level of income
all along, but if I sense that you have experienced a significant increase in
wealth, I suddenly feel poorer. When I notice that you have a fancier car, a
more lavish vacation, a bigger house, I become dissatisfied with my lot in
life, even though my income may be pretty decent, compared to 99% of people in
the world.
The person with a good eye is happy when they see their
neighbour prosper. They know that their
neighbour’s new car hasn’t made them any poorer. It’s not about relative prosperity; it’s
about absolute prosperity. And so if you
were to add up our combined incomes – mine and my neighbour’s – we are doing better
overall than last year. I might have
remained in the same place; but he has earned more. Therefore, I am happy at the total increase
in wealth. That is the definition of
having a good eye.
When they build the new parking lot and are suddenly able to
accommodate all the employees, you should be happy. So what that some people get to park a little
closer; it hasn’t affected your parking spot. You’re in exactly the same place you’ve always
been. For years, you’ve been content to
park there; why would you be dissatisfied now?
How do you feel when you hear of others’ success? Are you truly happy for them? Or do you start feeling jealous? Are you prepared to give away your worldly
possessions to others who need sustenance or even just a loan? Or do you have a bad eye; an eye that gets
jealous at another person’s prosperity?
Open your eyes to world.
See only the good. Pursue what’s
truly valuable in life. And never be
overprotective of your material possessions.
May you work on developing a good eye so that you may truly enjoy
watching others prosper in life!
